The Dolphin's Dance Sample Exercise

The Dolphin's Dance coverHere’s a Sample Exercise for you to see how thoughtfully The Dolphin’s Dance takes you on this journey.
(It’s exercise #3)


Sit quietly and move into a state of relaxation. I recommend using the Clear Lagoon visualization we created in chapter two. After you are established here, breathe deeper and deeper.

Breathe deeper and deeper, and then ask yourself the questions below. Ask each question three times and wait for the answer to arise.

  1. What is the most painful, scary, earth-shattering event that occurred in my life?
  2. What is the earliest painful event that happened in my childhood, as far as I can remember?

You may find that many events rush into your memory. Allow them to surface and then focus on them, one by one.

You may notice a particularly vivid and painful memory, one that you have difficulty focusing on due to the discomfort.

Stay with this image; breathe in the fresh air, and breathe out the pain. Look at the situation closely, and continue asking yourself these questions:

  1. What happened? When did it happen? Why did it happen?
  2. How did I feel about it back then?
  3. How do I feel about it now?

Stay with the event as long as you need to. Try to remember and write down in your notebook as many details as you can recall. Focus on the sensory experiences: What did you see, hear, taste, touch, or smell? Feel the feelings that arise instead of trying to remember them. Find a way of simply being with them and noticing them. Don’t be alarmed if you cry. Let it be, don’t judge it, acknowledge it, and name the emotions. Be sure to write these down. We will come back to them later in this chapter.

Should you remember more than one event, as I did, it’s important to write down each of them. Focus particularly on the most painful one and on the earliest one. They may be the same, but if not, write them both. You may have more than two.

Once you’ve written the long, detailed version, list your Marker(s) chronologically:

My Marker event #1 is: My father’s bankruptcy
My Marker event #2 is: The death of my father

You may write down as many Marker events as you want. There are no right or wrong ways to answer this question. The beauty of this work is that you are just doing it for yourself. No one is watching you. No one is judging you. Just be sure not to judge yourself, and stay in the flow. Wherever you land is the right place for you to be right now. Once your process is launched, it will take you deeper, and you will uncover more layers of your past. So don’t worry if you feel you did not find your Marker, or if you found more than one. If you have several marker events, they may be related through a similar theme, which you can use to sum them up. For example, I refer to my Marker as “the loss of my father,” which relates to both events.

When you feel confident that you have identified your Marker, turn back to your Identity Signature page and write in this first element:

My name is: Micheline
My Emotional Logo:
My Marker is: The loss of my father

Once you are done with this exercise, I suggest you take a break and do not continue with the next section until tomorrow. Details about the most significant painful event of your life may still surface. If so, let them be. You may find that you cried during the exercise or notice that you are more emotional afterward. This is all very normal; give yourself space and permission to show up as you do.